Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
