I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
