She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
