Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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