i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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