great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
