Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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