I have demons in me.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
