you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
