We're like a lot better than the average bears
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
