if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
