The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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