Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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