I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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