Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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