So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
