Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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