I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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