I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
