someone get that fucking seahorse.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
