you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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