there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
