if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
