I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
