So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
