I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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