I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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