It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
