Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
