Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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