I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
