Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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