My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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