my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
