Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
