just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
