So drunk, too bad you don't want this
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
