I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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