matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
