New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
