if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
