After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
