there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
ttyl tear gas
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
