I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
