i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
