I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
