I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
