i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
We got so high we made milksteak
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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