ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
