i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
