omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
