White coat. Heels.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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