i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
